Ok - what in the hell is the deal with the bathtub and dogs? Tonight in particular. My goodness did Punk think I needed help or what? And is soap really that good? Really?

I remember when I first got the Chi. He was beyond timid and he did not venture about the house too much. One evening in particular I was enjoying my nightly bathing ritual. Now when I am rinsing the shampoo from my hair, head submerged in the water, I naturally have my eyes closed. For some reason I felt compelled to open them. There - peering intently down into my face was the Chi. He scared the livin’ bejeezuz out of me. Startled, I exclaimed. Chi was just as surprised as I was. Terrified he jumped back and fled the bathroom. I started to laugh. It was really kinda funny. There is always that moment, as something is happening, when everything stands still for a moment. I will never forget how our eyes met and locked in utter astonishment.

Gradually of course Chi started hanging around the door. Eventually he began laying on my pile of discarded clothing. Always watching me intently. Something about the lathering of soap caught his eye. He was intrigued. His intrigue quickly moved to another compulsion. To taste the soap.

I didn’t know at first that this was his intention. It started non-invasively enough. He perched his front paws on the edge of the bathtub. I thought it was really cute and of course wanted to encourage any outgoing behavior he displayed, given his past ‘n all.

Suddenly it was game on. The soap, fragrant and tantalizingly lathered called to Chi. He licked my arm. At first I brushed it off. Then he became obsessed with licking the soap. There is just something so wrong with your dog licking your soapy naked body while you are bathing. Maybe it is just me but I have my boundaries. That was quickly put to an end. Puppy mill or not.

Chi still visits occasionnally. He peers into the tub and scampers away. Now his thing is going after my wet feet and legs immediately after I have exited the bath. That is just plain annoying. I gently punt him out of the bathroom with my foot.

So tonight - I had to fight Daphne. There is a significant difference between a 10.5 lb Chihuahua and a 50 lb pit bull. Her intrusion began with the soap dish. She really wanted that soap. When it became clear to her that it wasn’t happening her attention fell to me. She loves to drink the bath water. Debbie and Ike try to do this too. But it isn’t very often any more. And Debbie now prefers lotion. Oh boy try moisutrizing while sitting on a bathroom floor with a freakishly licking dog.

Back to Daph. So I shoo her away but she keeps coming back. At one point she removed the toilet bolt cover and started throwing it around the hallway like an Orca tossing around it’s prey. Out of the tub to retrieve the cap.

Aw, nice… she lays in the hallway and watches me bathe. When I started soaping up she is suddenly right there. All she wants to do is lick the soap. And again, as I said earlier, there is just something wrong with your dog licking your naked sudsy body. Daphne would not stop. She was relentless in her pursuit. And really, who wants to have to jump out of a hot bath whilst naked to run down a dog. Not me. But since the bath was nearing its end I just dealt with her. And it was disturbing. Obviously disturbing enough to write about. Yet inanely funny too.

What a little nut she is.

The nut is laying next to me snoring like a lumber jack. Must have been all that soap.

Filed under: Random Thoughts